Unlocking your power to lead worlds ahead

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Who is blocking you from success?

Capital Y. O. U!

You are blocking yourself from success.

Before I tell you why you are the person blocking yourself from success, let me give you a guidepost when taking advice from anyone — even me.

Never trust someone that is telling you to do something they won’t or don’t do.

How does this relate to the question at hand, well if you are taking advice from anyone about being successful make sure that the person you are asking is. First and foremost, ask the person to define success as it relates to them. (If you know them, you will know if they are defining it accurately and if they are actually living that definition. If you don’t know them, then why are you asking them? )

If you feel comfortable that the person you are seeking advice from is indeed successful, then ask them how they became successful. Their definition of and their journey to becoming successful is likely to include:

1. Doing a job that makes them happy,

2. Having a career that they are passionate about,

3. Having a happy family,

4. Something they consider fun,

5. Serving their purpose, etc.

Whatever, they say will generally include a fire and burning need to do what they are doing. Sure there are more components of success, but I want to focus on this one – the fire. I want to focus here, because this is what you more than anyone has the answer to. Why? Well, only you know what is the burning need or desire inside of you.

If you can identify this need you have already started your journey to success. Beyond that, you have to do something to help you live that desire. And just because you wanted to be an NBA player , for example, and you aren’t doesn’t mean you aren’t successful. Maybe you play in a YMCA league in your hometown. Maybe you coach a high school team. Success is up to you. You define what it is.

People aren’t successful generally because they are letting someone else define success for them whether they are doing this consciously or not. Who might be defining success for them could be a number of things. Society. Your wife or your husband. Your girlfriend or boyfriend. Your mother or father. Your ego versus your soul or your heart. Whatever it may be, if you did not define success for yourself; it may be impossible to ever achieve that definition and if you do achieve that definition: is it really success? or just a goal attained?

In closing, success makes you feel a certain way –– good. Gosh darnit, if you are really serious about the idea of success and you are able to manifest that idea, success might feel a little bit like bliss. So, tell me: What is your definition of success? Are you successful (as per your definition)? If you can honestly answer no or a half-yes/half-no, then QUICK think of 3 things you can do to achieve success. I promise you will find that changing the way YOU think may be a big part of the solution.



Click the link below to see more useful tips on success from Richard St. John at the TED conference.

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What’s Love Got to Do With It?

The most overlooked pre-requisite for good leadership is love. When I am coaching someone, I consider the whole person. My core principal is you are who you are. People often try harder to “behave” at work – covering parts of themselves. However, your authentic self emerges still. So if a person has no love that authentic self will not be patient, gracious, and kind ; at least not long enough to build solid ties at work such that others want to rally behind them time after time.

There are many types of love that can undergird good leadership.For example, love of your family can provide you with a template for the type of love you need to lead a team.  This love of family can empower a leader to take more, do more, and/or embrace more challenges because they have the love of their family to show them what is possible when love is present. Love of work and love of the brand or product generally run a close second and third when I ask my clients what they love the most in their lives at any given time.

But if you love nothing it will be very hard to be a good leader, because you won’t have this framework of passion and compassion to draw upon. These things are required to move things along when the going gets tough.  Leadership is about leading when things go smoothly as well as when things get rocky. Now, depending on how good you are at showing, expressing, and communicating your love will determine if you can have great leadership. This does not mean you don’t get upset or frustrated at all; it just means that the leader with the capacity to love that exercises this capacity consistently knows how to make sure that everything can come back to love and is done in love.

In closing, it is not my job to judge what or who you love, but to find out if you have the capacity TO love and to then show you how that love can help you correct areas in your leadership that are holding you back from being a good/great leader. However, if you are faltering in your leadership and don’t have a coach to help you on your journey, first look to see if you can find any love in your life. And if you can’t locate any real love anywhere, I suggest you turn inward because it is very likely you may need to first start loving yourself. That will be the first step in your journey on being a good leader.